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Two and one are a problem -- Taboo to boot -- The sea-gull -- I had no idea it was so late -- Mr. Artesian's conscientiousness -- I yield to my learned brother, or Is there a candlestick maker in the house? -- Reflection on the passage of time, its inevitability and its quirks -- The drop of a hat -- The centipede -- What's the matter, haven't you got any sense of humor? -- Lines to be mumbled at Ovington's -- Invocation -- Everybody tells me everything -- The strange case of the wise child -- Song of the open road -- Lines to a world-famous poet who failed to complete a world-famous poem, or Come clean, Mr. Guest! -- When you say that, smile! or All right then, don't smile -- Children's party -- A lady thinks she is thirty-- Mr. Peachey's predicament, or No mot parades -- Nevertheless -- Don't look now -- Procrastination is all of the time -- The terrible people -- Song for the saddest ides -- The rooster -- Hush, here they come -- The facts of life -- A ride on the bronxial local -- The turtle -- It's never fair weather -- Don't grin, or you'll have to bear it -- Isn't that a dainty dish? No! -- A stitch too late is my fate -- It must be the milk -- The fish -- Don't guess, let me tell you -- The secret town -- Man bites dog-days -- Poor Mr. Strawbridge -- A watched example never boils -- The strange case of the irksome prude -- Biological reflection -- When the devil was sick could he prove it? -- Spring song -- The shrew -- Will consider situation -- Prayer at the end of a rope -- The panther -- Golly, how truth will out! -- Did someone say "babies"? -- Out is out -- The squirrel -- How long has this been going on? Oh, quite long -- Washington's birthday eve -- The kitten -- For the most improbable she -- I know you'll like them -- The beggar (after William Blake) -- Shrinking song -- You cad, why don't you cringe? -- Yes and no -- First payment deferred -- Ma, what's a banker? or Hush, my child -- The canary -- That reminds me -- Baby what makes the sky blue? -- The mind of Professor Primrose -- Reflection on caution -- Midsummer's daymare -- I never even suggested it -- My dear, how ever did you think up this delicious salad? -- What's the use? -- Goody for our side and your side too -- Oh, stop being thankful all over the place -- Arthur -- Everybody eats too much anyhow -- The rhinoceros -- Song to be sung by the father of infant female children -- One from one leaves two -- Genealogical reflection -- There's a host born every minute -- Tell it to the Eskimos, or Tell it to the Esquimaux -- Very like a whale -- The lamb -- The strange case of Mr. Goodbody, or A team that won't be beaten, can't be beaten -- The Wapiti -- The case of identity -- Read this vibrant exposé -- Reflection on a common misapprehension -- What almost every woman knows sooner or later -- Turns in a worm's lane -- Kindly unhitch that star, buddy --Literary reflection -- The strange case of the baffled hermit -- May I drive you home. Mrs. Murgatroyd? -- One third of a calendar -- Roulette us be gay -- Obvious reflection -- Suppose I darken your door -- The sage of Darien -- A child's guide to parents -- Epstein, spare that yule log! -- Lines written to console those ladies distressed by the lines "Men seldom make passes, etc." -- Portrait of the artist as a prematurely old man -- Drusilla -- The spring sitting -- The bird to the bees -- Reflections on ingenuity -- How to tell a quail from a partridge -- They don't speak English in Paris -- The strange case of the girl o' Mr. Sponsoon's dreams -- Grasshoppers are very intelligent -- The oyster -- Listen -- Carlotta -- Pretty halcyon days -- I'll take a bromide, please -- Ode to C.B.E., practically the only new male child I know of -- Ding dong, toot toot, all aboard -- Home, 99 44/100% sweet home -- Home thoughts from little moose -- Long live delays of ancient Rome -- The duck -- The clean platter -- Aside to husbands -- Uncalled-for epitaph: the sports announcer -- Hearts of gold, or A good excuse is worse than none -- Adventures of Isabel -- The camel -- The evening out -- September morn -- Mr. Barcalow's breakdown -- The big tent under the roof -- The turkey -- Kind of an ode to duty -- The life of the party -- Aimee McPherson -- Oh, please don't get up! -- The marketeers -- The pigeon -- Pipe dreams -- Seaside serenade -- Abdication of a jester -- Lines to a three-name lady -- To bargain, toboggan, to-whoo! -- One, two, buckle my shoe -- I always say a good saint is no worse than a bad cold -- The egg -- Oh, did you get the tickets? Because I don't think I'll go, after all -- Edouard -- The seven spiritual ages of Mrs. Marmaduke Moore -- The strange case of the ambitious caddy -- After the christening -- The germ -- The anatomy of happiness -- Pride goeth before a raise, or Ah, there, Mrs. Cadwallader-Smith! -- A word on wind -- The wombat -- Columbus -- The cow -- Song for a temperature of a hundred and one -- Some of my best friends are children -- Jangle bells -- Nature knows best -- A parable for sports writers, society columnists, bond salesmen and poets, or Go get a reputation -- England expects -- Away from it all -- Look what you did, Christopher! -- Epilogue to Mother's Day -- The ant -- Don't cry, darling, it's blood all right -- The purist -- The strange case of the society girl's neck -- Lucy Lake -- The eight o'clock peril -- In which the poet is ashamed but pleased -- Splash! -- The Japanese -- Judgment day -- The unselfish husband -- Common sense -- Just a piece of lettuce and some lemon juice, thank you -- Miriam's lucky day -- The tale of Custard the dragon -- Electra becomes morbid -- Bankers are just like anybody else, except richer -- The calf -- A clean conscience never relaxes -- Apartment to sublet, unfurnished -- I have it on good authority -- Remembrance of things to come -- Funebrial reflection -- The strange case of Mr. Fortague's disappointment -- The party -- Curl up and diet -- Reflections on ice-breaking -- The passionate pagan and the dispassionate public -- Captain John Smith -- To a small boy standing on my shoes while I am wearing them -- Summergreen for president -- Confessions of a born spectator -- The pig -- A drink with something in it -- "My child is phlegmatic ..." anxious parent -- The cobra -- Let me buy this one -- Rainy day -- My daddy -- Cat naps are too good for cats -- The strange case of the pleasing taxi-driver -- Benjamin -- The city -- A good parent's garden of vision -- The lama -- Waiting for the birdie -- The queen is in the parlor -- Do sphinxes think? -- To the lady passing time better left unpassed -- Who understands who anyhow? -- The parent -- Parsley for vice-president! -- Nine miles to the railroad -- The strange case of the dead divorcée -- The common cold -- Just keep quiet and nobody will notice -- Coffee with the meal -- The rabbits -- This is going to hurt just a little bit -- Experience to let -- Oh to be odd! --Song for ditherers -- Reflection on the fallibility of nemesis -- Song before breakfast -- Political reflection -- First families, move over! -- Fragonard -- Savonarola of Mazda Lane -- Admiral Byrd -- Birth comes to the archbishop -- The strange case of Mr. Donnybrook's boredom -- An introduction to dogs -- Introspective reflection -- Lines indited with all the depravity of poverty -- I'll get one tomorrow -- People -- Family court -- Bernarr Macfadden -- The middle of the month -- Spring comes to Murray Hill -- Time marches on -- Reflection on babies -- A plea for a league of sleep -- Wednesday matinee -- The phœnix -- Lines in dispraise of dispraise -- More about people -- Traveler's rest -- Arthur Brisbane -- Riding on a railroad train -- The stork -- The rebuffers -- Reflection on a wicked world -- Malice domestic -- Hymn to the sun and myself -- The banquet -- Pediatric reflection -- Ha! Original sin! -- A brief guide to New York -- Gervaise -- Incompetent and immaterial -- Lines in praise of a date made praiseworthy solely by something very nice that happened to it -- Such an old theme, but such fresh distress -- So penseroso -- Interoffice memorandum -- Complaint to four angels -- Old men -- The individualist -- A carol for children. |
